One wall painted with help, one still waiting. These images show the pace I’m working at—and the care I’m trying to hold.

Painting the main wall with my daughter was difficult. The smell of paint, the texture, and the physical effort were uncomfortable for me—but having her there made it easier. It was a moment I’ll always treasure.

Now I have two more walls to paint, and I’m worried about doing them on my own. My daughter is away at university, and I can’t afford to pay someone to help. I live with a fluctuating neurological condition and navigate neurodivergence, so decorating isn’t just tiring—it can be overwhelming. Even looking at paint makes me feel anxious and uncomfortable.

I’m the kind of person who tries to help myself. I’ve learned to pace things, doing a little at a time. But right now, I’m feeling very anxious about a lot of things, and that makes it harder to start. I want to change the room—it matters to me—but doing it is harder than I expected.

There’s a kind of confliction in that: needing to make a change, but knowing the process will be difficult. I’m trying to move gently, even when I feel stuck. I’m not sharing this for advice or solutions—just to say that this is where I am right now.

If you’re finding things hard too, you’re not alone. I’m trying to take things slowly, and I hope you can too.

Personal Note

This post is part of my personal archive. I live with a neurological condition and navigate neurodivergence, which affect how and when I can do everyday tasks. I’m not offering services or promoting anything—just sharing a moment that reflects how I’m managing things at my own pace.

I’m not working or offering services—just sharing my experience.